The Old Famous Caper

Detective Skeeter is in his office. It is a bit run-down. An old used desk, a few file cabinets, a few empty bottles of 'Old Nip" scattered around. A few photographs of treasured successful cases solved… A client walks in. Obsequious servant type…

Furred NoName: "Detective Skeeter, my employer wishes to hire you to investigate a possible murder. He has been told you are most talented at old unsolved crimes."

Skeeter: "Yes I am. For a fee. Shrimp and ham every day, plus primo catnip. Can your employer afford that?"

Furred" "Without any problem. Your reputation is well known and his interest is great".

Skeeter: "Great, when do we start?" Furred: "A car is waiting".

Furred and Skeeter drive off in a fancy car.

Skeeter enters the Famous Old Place of Old Cat Famous wearing his standard "Bogie" overcoat. The décor is astonishingly tacky, but everything is very expensive. Like a Las Gatos casino. The furniture was in rich purple and pink corinthian leather. Catnelius VanderKitty would have been impressed. Old Cat Famous quickly ushered Detective Skeeter into his study. His "study" is larger than Skeeter's whole house.

Old Cat Famous: "Detective Skeeter, I have asked you here because my only son disappeared several years ago. I thought it was a botched kit-napping, but recent events have caused me to doubt that. I now fear it is a family matter.."

Skeeter: I felt sorry for Old Famous. But it isn't the first time a family has done in its own. "I will do my best to solve this sad crime" was all I could say. "I will need free run of the house and yard, and I will need to speak to all the family and hired help."

Skeeter calls in the CCSI team, then wanders the grounds.

The CCSI team takes blood samples from the family and hired help. Lt Dewlap starts sniffing the grounds. Lt Meezer starts looking into hidey places and takes fur samples from the carpets and under sofas.

Skeeter comes across Lady Di Famous in the garden.

Skeeter: "Lady Di, you have an interesting garden. Very unusual."

Lady Di Famous: "Yes, it suits my interests. The other Lady cats are impressed when they visit".

Skeeter observes the garden with interest. There are bare twigs stuck in the ground in one corner, a tiny 1 foot pond nearby, some tiny evergreens in another corner, and a small mound between them. There was even an "X" next to the mound.

Skeeter: "I'm no gardener", he thinks to himself, "but this is one really weird garden." And "Ma'am, when is the last time you saw Fergle"?

Lady Di Famous: "Three years ago, when he was kit-napped. We mourn his absence daily."

Skeeter steps into the house, where Lt Meezer asks "Have you noticed that there are no pictures of Fergle "Mousemaster" Famous anywhere in the house?"

Brighteyes Famous overhears and says, "Momma had them all removed the day after Fergle was kit-napped." And she skips off to play with toy mousies…

Lt Dewlap comes in with a copy of the family Will. Says "This was slipped under the door to me. I can smell Furred NoName all over it."

Skeeter: We examined the Will. Everything went to Lady Di Famous and Brighteyes. That meant it was new, as Old Cat Famous adored his son cat Fergle and had previously declared that Fergle would take over the entire estate some day!

The CCSI team went over the Will with a fine-toothed comb and some fancy chemical analysis. They had the lab check the ink for age and for forgery. Sure enough, the ink is new and doesn't match Old Cat Famous's paw prints! But we just couldn't find anything for sure. We had to leave. No body, no crime…

Wow, a helicopter arrived to return us all home, flown by Skeeter's old friend Flyright Mhor. Skeeter and the CCSI team board and are lifted away, dejected. As they rise in altitude, Detective Skeeter gazes out the window. His ears perk up.

Skeeter: "Lt Dewlap and Lt Meezer, look out here. See the dead trees below? And the pond? And that evergreen forest? And look at the mound over there." They are exactly like Lady Di Famous's personal garden!

And then he yells to Flyright, "Hey, can you land over there by that mound?"

Flyright Mhor: "Sure thing Skeeter, some catnip down there?"

Good old Flyright, he turned the helicopter around so fast there were hairballs all over the place…

Skeeter: "Not Nip, Flyright, something sad, I suspect."

They land and all hop out. Lt Dewlap immediately crinkles his nose.

Lt Dewlap: "Dead kitty here, Skeeter. Sorry."

Lt Meezer was first to find the mound entrance. She rushed in but came out crying. "It's Fergle", she says. "I'd bet 2 lives on it." But she is a professional. She went back in and took fur samples. It was Fergle, as her equipment showed. There was even fur in his mouth; Lady Di Famous's.

Back at the Old Famous Place, we confronted Lady Di Famous with the facts.

She broke down in tears, as all good criminals must. She confessed she did it to get the estate for herself and her daughter Brighteyes. From the look of horror on Brighteyes's face, we knew she wasn't involved. That was a relief! Lady Di was lead away helpless by the scruff of her neck.

Skeeter: "I was well-paid in Nip and Ham. A few days later in my office, a tapping came at the door. I cautiously opened it and in walked the most beautiful lady cat you ever saw. Diamond-studded collar, soft smooth fur, micro chipped for sure, and I bet all her shots are up to date too…
She said her name was WowWow Evermore and that she had a 'slight problem' maybe I could help her with." WowWow: "Ooh, is that fresh Nip?" Skeeter: "Join me in a Niptini and some ham, and tell me about your problem"? Life is good…

THE END

Episode Five

The Old Famous Caper

Written by Skeeter
Directed by Ruis
Executive Producer Sassy


Synopsis
A disappeared son.
A concerned father.
A mother with an interest in gardening.
Will the CCSI team be able to bring closure to this family?

Part One
Part Two


Starring
(in order of appearance)

Detective Skeeter - Fat Eric
Obsequious Servant - Dr. Tweety
Mr. Sylvester Famous - Luxor
Lady Di Famous - LC
Brighteyes Famous - Perfectly Parker
Lt. Dewlap - Titus
Lt. Meezer - Ayla
Flyright Mhor - Angus Mhor
Mousemaster Fergle Famous - Miles Meezer
WowWow Evermore - Pearl


Production Team

Executive Producer - Sassy Kat Little
Executive Board - Sassy Kat, Momo Kitty, Opus, Karl, Ruis, Asta
Producer - Opus
Writer - Skeeter
Adapted To Script - LC and Ayla
Head Director - Ruis
Assistant Director - Karl
Costumes - Asta
Set Design - Karl
Advertising & Marketing Director - Momo Kitty
Graphics - Karl and Ruis
Promotion Graphics - Karl
Casting - LC and Ayla
Chief Repurrrorter - Samantha

The Momomo Caper

The executives of Little Productions welcome you. We would like to take this time before the show starts to have a few moments to remember all of the friends that have gone to the bridge or in need of prayer support to help them have their good health return to them. During the production of this show two of our cast members have had to face trying times at home. Ayla's brother, Skeeter, has recently gone to the bridge and Billy's brother, Miles, has been in ill health. Also, this is our first CCSI since Roscoe, founding member, has gone to the bridge and we all have missed having him here with us as the production got underway. Please keep these families and others that you know in your hearts and prayers. Before we begin we would like to honor those that we love that are no longer here and pray for good health to return to all of those in need . . . . . . . Thank you . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . Now it is time to sit back and enjoy the fourth installment of the famous CCSI - Cat/Canine Crime Scene Investigators!

The Momomo Caper is dedicated in loving memory to Roscoe

On a quiet spring morning Mrs. Kroesus neatly arranged the flowers, morning paper, and a hearty breakfast for her husband Mr. Kroesus. She does this for him each Sunday so he can enjoy a lazy morning and have breakfast in bed.

But what's this? As she enters the bedroom she notices that Mr. Kroesus is not awake. Quickly she notices that not only is he not awake but he is actually quiet lethargic, hardly responding to her calls and looking very sickly!

Mrs. Kroesus quickly called Dr. Quaksalber to come over to the house. Dr. Quaksalber takes some blood for later testing. Even though the doctor doesn't know the specifics, yet his diagnosis is clear.

“Mr. Kroesus was poisoned! We must get him to the hospital immediately!”

“Who could have done something like that?” screams Mrs. Kroesus, “we must call CCSI at once!”

Half an hour later, Detective Klug and Inspector Spuren arrive. Taking turns they inundate Mrs. Kroesus with questions.

“Who saw him last? What has he eaten? Who served him the food? Who holds a grudge against him? Who might benefit from his death?”

“I don’t care”, she cries, “my poor Momomo.”

“What’s with the name?” asks Detective Klug, “ I thought his name is Paul Kroesus?”

“It’s his nickname” answers Mrs. Kroesus “he would always say ‘more money, more, more, more’ - so the staff started to nickname him Momomo and it just stuck.”

“Ah” exclaims Inspector Spuren “so I gather he is very rich?”

“Oh yes, he owns the biggest mouse hunting grounds around, and his exotic lizard head collection is priceless! He is the richest cat around here by far!” explains his wife.

“There we have a possible motive, money!” says Detective Klug. “Inspector Spuren take traces of all the food in here and send it to the lab. But he obviously hasn’t touched his breakfast, so let’s check what he had for dinner. And get some more blood from Mr. Kroesus to run a toxicology check.”

While Inspector Spuren puts on his gloves and gets to work Detective Klug questions the victim’s wife a bit more.

“Tell me about last night. What did he eat? When did he go to bed?”

“We had dinner together” his wife remembers, “we both ate the same things. Then we went to bed, we have separate bedrooms. He usually has a cup of nip tea served in his room before he sleeps.”

“And who serves that?” inquires the Detective. “Usually the maid” Mrs. Kroesus replies. “But sometimes the kids bring it to him.”

“OK, let’s round up the suspects.” decided Detective Klug. “Get the maid and the kids in here for questioning and send his tea cup to the lab for a toxicology check!”

"No” deny the kids Paul Junior and Eva Maria in unison when they are questioned awhile later “we did not bring him anything, we actually left the house before dinner to go to a lizard BBQ at some neighbors.”

"Yes" admits the maid, "I brought him his nip tea after diner as usual. But I did not poision him, I would never do something like that, and she starts sobbing.

“Detective Klug” interrupts Inspector Spuren, “the lab just called and they found traces of a pesticide in the tea cup and the toxicology report shows the same pesticide in Dr. Kroesus blood! They are trying to pin down the exact brand and find out who recently bought it.”

“OK,” concludes Detective Klug, “it was the tea. Now if the maid didn’t do it then who did? Where did the tea come from?” he asks the maid.

“I get it from an old lady at the edge of the forest. She collects all kind of herbal remedies and sells them to make a modest living.

Off they go to pay the Herbal Lady a visit. They arrive at the little house at the edge of the forest and knock but there was no answer. They knock again, louder this time. No answer.

“Look at this,” shouts Inspector Spuren, “ I can see her sitting in her chair. Something is not right! Let's break in!”

So they break down the door and find the old lady stooped over in her chair. She is barely breathing and very pale!

An ambulance is called immediately, and after Inspector Spuren checks her thoroughly he exclaims “She is poisoned too!”

While they wait for the ambulance they check the house and they find lots of herbs, and also a whole pile of nip for tea.

“Take samples, Inspector Spuren, and let’s see if this is the poisonous nip.

"It is strange though” Detective Klug wonders “that the Herbal Lady would poison herself. Let’s see if we can find out where she actually got the nip.”

But the old lady is in no condition to speak, so the CCSI team decides to take a look around and see if they can figure it out for themselves.

“Look Detective” says Inspector Spuren “here are her walking shoes. They have a very distinctive sole pattern and there is a lot of clay in the crevices. We can just follow the trail from her house. Maybe it will lead us to the nip!”

And so they do. They follow the narrow trail from the herb lady's house into the forest and sure enough, after only ten minutes they come to a clearing which is covered with nip.

“That must be it” says Detective Klug. “So where does the poison come in?”

“I might have an answer to that” explains Inspector Spuren. “The lab just called, they found the manufacturer of the specific pesticide that poisoned Dr. Kroesus and most probably the old Herbal Lady too then checked their client list. The only big sale in the last several months went to the local government here.”

“So” says the Detective “let’s give them a call!”

And wouldn’t you know it, the government admitted that they were worried about some little weed upshots in their local forest and decided to just root them out. They ordered massive amounts of pesticides and sprayed the whole forest with it. Without telling anybody because they thought no one lived there, so everything would be fine.

They agreed to pay for all the medical bills for Mr. Kroesus and the old Herbal Lady who are both to be expected to recover. They will also issue a public apology and create a department for non-toxic environment management. Mr. Kroesus donated the start-up money for that. The CCSI team was honorably awarded the first of the newly created “Fighter for a Non-Toxic Environment Award”.

ENDE GUT, ALLES GUT (End Good All Good)

* * * * * * *

Whereas this story was inspired by a true event all characters are strictly fictional and any resemblance to existing entities is totally coincidental. The ending alone is proof that this story is entirely a work of fiction! by Karl

Episode Four

The Momomo Caper


Written by Karl
Directed by Opus
Executive Producer & Casting by Sassy


Synopsis:

Mr. Kroesus is found poisoned! He is rich - and a lot of cats probably would like to get their hands on the money. So everybody has a motive - and they all had opportunity too!
Will the CCSI team find out who is behind it all?

Part One
Part Two
Part Three


Starring

Mr. Paul Kroesus - Tybalt
Mrs. Kroesus - Queen Snickers
Dr. Quaksalber - Aniwa
Detective Klug - Goldie
Inspector Spuren - Billie
Paul Junior - Tintin
Eva Maria - Ayla
Maid - Sukie
Herbal Lady - Xing Lu


PRODUCTION TEAM

Executive Producer - Sassy Kat Little
Producer & Director - Opus
Writer - Karl
Executive Board - Sassy Kat, Momo Kitty, Opus, Karl, Ruis, Asta
Advertising & Marketing Director - Momo Kitty
Assistant To Executive Producer - Momo Kitty
Casting - Sassy Kat
Set Design - Karl and Ruis
Head Graphic Team - Opus
Graphics For CCSI IV Promotions - Karl
Costume Designer - Asta
Chief Repurrrorter - Samantha
Reviewer - Tybalt

A CCSI Tribute To Roscoe

Sad News

Our beloved friend, the talented and creative producer, director, graphic designer and actor Roscoe was unexpectedly called to the bridge on September 9, 2008 after a short bout of severe illness.
He is survived by his brother Opus and his humans.
His untimely departure will leave a big void not only within CCSI but the whole Blogosphere. He once moved across continents with his family but then he moved the hearts of many who will never forget him.
You can light a candle for him here.

The Missing Mummy Caper

It was Mothers’ Day on Sunday morning and the Catroville Mansion was extremely quiet without the routine noise of Mama Patti Ball making breakfast for her kids. Suddenly, at about 8:30 pm, a shrill scream came from the kitchen.


“Argggghhhhhhhhhh!” shouted Cleocatra as she saw Papa Adam Ball sprawled on the floor with a small pool of blood around his head.

Upon hearing the scream, the three brothers, Mika, Tonto and Ruddy rushed to the scene to see what had made their sister so terrified. Tonto immediately took out his cell phone and called for an ambulance. He also called Detective Bucky Bun from CCSI headquarters to come over immediately. While Tonto was on the phone, Mika and Ruddy quickly rushed to their Papa and found that he was knocked unconscious.

The boys looked around but found no trace of any weapons. There was only a pool of water with some big paw prints leading to the backdoor. The whole kitchen was in a mess with all the cabinet doors open. Some cans of tuna, a frozen mackerel, a packet of peas and some cream cheese were found missing from the house.

“Wait!” shouted Ruddy. “Where’s Mama?”

Mama Patti Ball was also missing. They searched the house but she was nowhere in sight.

“Someone might have catnapped her!” cried a panicked Ruddy.

The ambulance arrived shortly. Two paramedics came in and inspected Papa Adam.

“Can we have some breathing space please,” said Paramedic #1.

“His pulse is fine. We’ll take him back to the hospital for further tests,” said Paramedic #2.

They then carried Papa Adam carefully into the ambulance and drove off accompanied by Cleocatra and Ruddy.

Detective Bucky Bun, together with his assistant Detective Harry Moe arrived a few minutes before the ambulance was about to leave. There were already some neighbors curiously gathering around the mansion to see what had happened.

Two policemen were seen putting up the CCSI tapes around the mansion.

“Miss, can you move away from the barrier?” asked Policeman #1.

“Mister! Would you stand further a bit? We are doing some serious investigations here!” said Policeman #2.

Inside the mansion, Detective Bucky Bun was finding proof on the attempted murder and catnap motives. He checked on the back door and found that there were not any break-in traces while Detective Harry Moe was seen dusting for more paw prints.

“I think the suspect knew Mama Patti,” Detective Bucky Bun said while inspecting Papa Adam’s blood. “Hmm… This is still fresh. The incident must have happened barely two hours ago. What is this pool of water doing here?,” wondered the detective, "It's cold."

He then checked the freezer and found that there was a full bucket of ice cubes.

“Did your Mama always prepare so much of ice?” he asked Mika.

“Well, unless she is planning for a gathering, which is not possible as none of us were informed at all,” Mika replied.

“I see. Let me check with the neighbors if they had seen anything,” replied Detective Bucky Bun.
There were so many onlookers outside waiting to give their statements.

“When I opened up my windows this morning at 5 am, I saw Mama Patti running towards the west side area. I saw a big hairy cat chasing after her with a big bag in his paws. He behaved very mysteriously,” said neighbor Ling Ling.

“I got up at 6:30 am for my usual morning walk and saw a dark figure running out from the backdoor. He was really huge. I thought I saw something glittering in his paws. It looked like something square,” said Mr. Doogle.

During the interview, little Catherine was seen running towards her mother in tears. She cried, “Mummy! I skidded and fell!”

“What happened dear?” asked Mrs. Peachy Pitt.

“Someone left some peas on the road!” answered the crying girl.

Detective Bucky Bun’s eyes were suddenly wide open. “Where did this happen?” he asked.

The girl pointed at the west side of the road and told the detective that there were peas all over the pavement. The guys immediately rushed to the scene.

“I see lots of peas here,” said Detective Bucky Bun. “It looked as if the attacker had left a trail here and it is moving towards that direction.” He pointed to the peas laying all over the road, trailing towards the other end of the west side area.

The detective and the boys followed the trail and it led to someplace very familiar.

Tonto, Mika, and Rudy looked at each other and exclaimed, “What? Uncle Bill’s house?”

They could even smell the cooking of buttered Mackerel from outside the house. Both detectives pulled out their guns not knowing how Uncle Bill was involved with this crime.

The boys approached the front door and as they were about to ring the doorbell they saw a familiar face. To their joy it was their Mama!

“Boys! How did you manage to find me over here? I was making you a surprise brunch for our family,” said a shocked Mama Patti. The boys immediately ran over to hug their Mama as they were so relieved that she was safe.

As they were explaining to Mama Patti and Uncle Bill what had just happened, the phone rang.

It was from the hospital. Cleocatra excitedly told Tonto, “Papa woke up and told us everything! He is off the danger zone now!”

Detective Bucky Bun immediately brought them to the hospital. When they reached the hospital, they rushed to the reception counter and asked for the ward number.

“Room 108,” replied the nurse behind the counter.

As they arrived outside of the room Papa was staying in they saw Doctor Kieran and asked him to find out how Papa was doing.

“Don’t worry, your Papa is fine now. He can check out anytime he wants,” said the doctor.

The doctor also went on to explain that Papa Adam had been in a slight shock when he arrived at the hospital but that he was OK now.

Everyone visited with Papa after talking with the doctor and asked Papa what had happened.

“I heard some noises coming from the kitchen and went down to investigate. I skidded on something which I think was an ice cube and banged my head onto the floor. Before I knew it, I was out.” , Papa explained.

“Oh my God, I’m to be blamed for that," explained a shock Uncle Bill. " I hastily hunted for some herbs and cream cheese and accidentally knocked down some ice cubes. I thought I had picked them all up and I guess one must have slipped away. It’s my fault that you have landed in the hospital with a cut on your head, Adam!”

“It’s not your fault at all, Bill. If I had remembered to take all the ingredients with me when I came over to your place to cook you wouldn't have had to go back to my place to collect them for me. Don’t be so hard on yourself no one is at fault,” remarked Mama Patti.

“Hey, I’m fine now. Accidents do happen. This is not something that anyone would want to have happened. You are forgiven Bill. Can I go home now? I’m hungry and I don’t want to spend Mothers’ Day in a hospital,” said Papa Adam laughingly.

“Ok guys! Let’s head home. I will still need to finish cooking the Seafood Fettuccini I meant to surprise you guys with,” said Mama Patti, and invited all who were in the hospital room to join in the meal with the family.

The case of the missing mummy has been declared closed. No one was murdered. Everything that had happened was just Uncle Bill trying to help Mama out and the good intention of Mama Patti to surprise everyone on Mothers’ Day.

To all the Mothers – I hope you have all the love and care during this season as the Ball Family, Cast, Crew, and The Executives of Little Productions.

*Story and characters are entirely fictional and any similarity with existing imaginary figures are absolutely intended.

Episode Three

The Missing Mummy Caper


Written by Criz Lai
Directed by Opus and Roscoe
Executive Producer & Casting by Sassy

Reviews by Tybolt and Samantha

Synopsis:

On mother's day the Ball kids find out that their Mom is missing!

Part One
Part Two

Starring

Detective Bucky Bun - Orlando Bun
Detective Harry Moe - Mickey
Policeman #1 - Rocky
Policeman #2 - Maya
Papa Adam Ball - Mr. Hendrix
Mama Patti Ball - Marilyn Monroew
Cleoctra Ball - Charlotte
Tonto Ball - Pablo
Mika Ball - Eric
Rudy Ball - Merlin
Ling Ling - Jessica
Mr. Doog - Roxy The Devil Dog
Peachy Pitt - Miss Peach
Catherine Pitt - Ariel
Uncle Bill - Cameron
Paramedic #1 - Tyler
Paramedic #2 - Derby
Nurse #1 - Tamra Maew
Nurse #2 - Zippy
Dr. Kieran - Dr. Tweety
Townsfolk - Scylla
Townsfolk - Beau
Townsfolk - Sasquatch Sassy Belle Taylor
Townsfolk - Brainball
Cameo Appearance - Sassy Kat


PRODUCTION

Executive Producer - Sassy Kat
Producers & Directors - Opus & Roscoe
Writer - Criz Lai
Executive Board - Sassy Kat, Momo Kitty, Karl & Ruis
Advertising & Marketing Director - Momo Kitty
Assistant To Executive Producer - Momo Kitty
Casting - Sassy Kat
Head Graphic Team - Karl, Ruis, Opus & Roscoe
Graphics For CCSI III - Opus & Roscoe
Graphics For CCSI III Promotions - Karl & Sassy
Set Designer - Karl
Costume Designer - Sassy Kat
Chief Repurrrorter - Samantha
Reviewer - Tybalt

Behind The Scenes Of CCSI III

EXCITEMENT!

Emil was able to secretly shoot some exciting footage of stuff that was going on behind the scenes of CCSI 3.

SUSPENSE!

He tells us that ALL actors did nasty things they shouldn't do - only some were lucky enough to not be caught by his camera. Who were the unlucky ones that got caught?

SATISFACTION!

For a small donation Little Prodcutions will email you the compromising and revealing pictures.
These pictures will never be published!
This is your ONLY chance to satisfy your curiosity!

GET YOUR PICTURES NOW!

All money (minus Paypal fees) will be donated to Cat Friends Helping Friends. Which benefits you. And you. And all of us!!!

CCSI III Scripts Always Wanted

The executives and myself at Little Productions are now putting the call out for new scripts for CCSI shows. Stories may be sent to my e-mail address that is listed on my blog. Scripts will be reviewed in the order that they arrive.

Little Productions has guidelines for the scripts that will be accepted. Those guidelines are as follows:

1. The title of the story should contain the word caper keeping with the theme of the first two shows.
2. Story should be proof read and as grammatically correct as you can tell.
3. Story should be between 1,000-1,500 words or close to that.
4. Story should be written in story form.
5. Speaking lines for all of the characters in the story.
6. Part of the story should take place in the crime lab. The forensic lab is the backbone so to speak for the CCSI story.
7. The crime scene should have evidence left as clues that can be solved in the crime lab.
8. Send your script to my e-mail address: sassycatlittle@yahoo.com
9. Accepting scripts at anytime but hurry if you want to be considered for CCSI III.


l-r: Opus & Roscoe, Producers & Graphic Design; Sassy, Executive Producer; Karl, Chief Graphic Designer & Writer; Ruis, Director & Graphic Design; & Momo, Advertising & Marketing Director.

All of us at Little Productions are looking forward to receiving new scripts for up coming shows.

aCATemy Awards!!!

+++BREAKING NEWS++++

All members of Little Productions and all actors and crew members involved with CCSI have received aCATemy Awards from Skeezix!
See individual blogs for acceptance speeches and pictures!
(Links are at the bottom of the sidebar)

The Santa Caper

On a beautiful day in December, at the crack of dawn, one after another of the little elves wakes up, yawns, stretches, and rises.

Each puts on his or her little pointy shoes and off they run into the kitchen to greet Santa who should be sitting there, reading the paper, waiting for the hot coffee Mrs. Claus is preparing.
But what is that! No Santa!


“Mrs. Claus, where is Santa?”

“I don’t know” answers Mrs. Claus, “I thought he was with you guys, I haven’t seen him all morning. Maybe he is in the barn with the reindeer.”
Off they go, into the barn.

“Good morning Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. Have you seen Santa?


“No, we haven’t” says Rudolph. Donner explains “Last time we’ve seen him was yesterday evening” and Blitzen continues “When he came in to say good night.”
“Why are you asking” inquires Dasher, and Comet cuts in screaming “Where is our Santa?”


“He usually comes in before breakfast to greet us all” says Vixen. “Yes, and he brings us a treat!” cries Cupid. “That’s true” adds Prancer “and he pets us all too!” “And it is late – and he hasn’t been here today” Dancer sums up the situation. “What a mystery” Pepper Minstix mumbles. “Let’s go and check his room.” And off they race into Santa Claus’ room.

Empty!

But there is a note, on the nightstand, leaning against his alarm clock.
Alabaster Snowball picks it up and reads:

“Oh my” Sugarplum Mary screams, “they kidnapped Santa! What are we going to do?”

“We have to call in the police and let them help us find Santa Claus!” Wunorse Openslae says.

“But you read what they say: Do not involve the police!” whines Bushy Evergreen.

“They always say that” replies Shinny Upatree, “it doesn’t mean anything. We need the police to figure this out! I will call NPPDCCSI (North Pole Police Department Cat/Canine Crime Scene Unit), they will find clues that will help us to get Santa back!”

Half an hour later Detective Schlau and Dr. Hinweis arrive. They put yellow ribbon around the room so no one can go in there anymore and they start looking for clues.

“Dr. Hinweis, look at this, I found some colored eggshells. Let’s get them to the laboratory and see if we can match them to something.”

"Yes, Detective Schlau. And look ovew hewe – I found a paw pwint. And it looks exactly like a wabbit footie…. I will telepowt to the laboratory immediately and check these things out myself."

“Hmmm, colored eggshells and a rabbit footprint. I think we should pay the Easter Bunny a visit!”

Off Detective Schlau goes, knocking on Easter Bunnies door. No answer. He knocks again. Nothing. Just when the detective is ready to knock down the door, it opens and a very tired and hung-over looking Easter Bunny dressed in a Santa Claus outfit appears.

“Are you the Easter Bunny and are those Santa Claus’ clothes?” Detective Schlau asks.

“Yes. And yes. But they are mine now” and the Easter Bunny yawns, “I won them in our poker game last night!”

“What do you mean ‘poker game’? Where is Santa Claus? What happened here last night?”

“Please don’t tell Mrs. Claus. She would not approve, that’s why Santa hasn’t told her. We meet once a month to play a little game of poker,” the Easter Bunny confesses, “and last night was our game night. Santa lost everything but would not stop so he bet his clothes. That’s why I have them, because he lost again!” “And then,” Detective Schlau inquires “what happened then? Where did he go? Where is he now?”

“How would I know” the Easter Bunny exclaims, “we all had way too much eggnog, Santa borrowed one of my outfits to wear on the way home, and he left. What’s going on? Why are you asking about Santa?”

“Santa Claus was kidnapped” Detective Schlau explains. “We are looking for clues to what exactly happened.”

At that moment Dr. Hinweis teleports back and looks at the Easter Bunny. "I just matched the eggshells we found at the scene of the cwime to samples of youw eggs that we have on file." “We also had found a paw print, Size 17” adds Detective Schlau. “May I ask: what size paw do you wear?”

“This is ridiculous” screams the Easter Bunny, “I was here all night, alone! Look around, there is no Santa here.”

They all start looking around when all of a sudden the Easter Bunny cries “My left hiking paw is missing! And some of my eggs are broken and most of the shells are gone! Someone is trying to implicate me in this crime! Whoever kidnapped Santa stole my hiking paw and my eggshells and left them at the scene of the crime!”

“O.K.”, Detective Schlau sighs. “Let’s start over. Who was at the game last night and could have stolen these things and taken Santa?”

“It was just the three of us, as usual” the Easter Bunny explains. “Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and me.”

“Well, Dr. Hinweis, let’s pay the tooth fairy a visit” says Detective Schlau and off they go.

“Come on in” chirps the Tooth Fairy once they arrive at her home. “So you want to know where Santa is? We left together last night; he could hardly walk – too much eggnog as usual – so I gave him a hand. But then we met a friend of his who supposedly lives closer and he took over. I don’t know who it was, it was dark and I couldn’t really see anything. I can show you were we parted ways.”

Off they go to a place where the road bisects, one way leading to the Tooth Fairy’s place, the other to Santa Claus’ home.

"Look" exclaims Dr. Hinweis "signs of a stwuggle! I have some wipped fabwic, and some haiw on it. I will send it to DNA analysis immediately, maybe we'll get a match! And it seems as if someone left a twail of colowed eggshells fow us to follow. There must have been some eggs in the Easter Bunny's outfit that Santa wowe and he used them to his advantage!"

So they follow the trail of colored eggshells deep into the woods. Minutes turn into an hour, feet become tired, and Detective Schlau and Dr. Hinweis feel as if someone were watching them…But no one there except the trees.

"Look Detective” Dr. Hinweis all of a sudden shouts “the trees are alive!” They both look up and sure enough – there is a head on every tree! And they wear jewelry too!

“Hello”, chirps the closest one “who are you?”

Before they can answer another tree whispers “I know! They are CCSI!”

“Hellooo”, murmurs a third, “we can all see that; it is written on their uniforms!”

Before the trees can get into a serious argument, Dr. Hinweis’ cell phone rings. She listens and shouts "We have a match! The DNA belongs to the Chwistkind!”

Luckily CCSI headquarters had an address on file for the Christkind and when they arrive at his house Detective Schlau takes the lead and breaks the door with his shoulder while Dr. Hinweis screams "Police. Lay down on the gwound!"

“Please don’t kill me” cries the Christkind “I didn’t mean any harm! Except for a really bad headache Santa Claus is fine, he’s sitting right there! I only kidnapped him because I wanted Christmas to be what it used to be – about family, love, and peace not about presents, greed, and shopping! I thought if Santa Claus was gone and couldn't bring the presents people will remember, sing, talk, and relate with each other.”

And after Detective Schlau released Santa Claus from his chain and Dr. Hinweis gave him some eggnog-hangover-rescue-pills, he forgave the Christkind, and didn’t press charges. From now on the Christkind will ride with Santa in his sleigh and hand out love, peace, joy, and Christmas Spirit (40 proof, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho) because these are the most precious presents of all.

Story and characters are entirely fictional and any similarity with existing imaginary figures are absolutely intended.